How to Find the Courage to Make Hard Decisions

There comes a moment in every leader’s journey when the question isn’t what to do — it’s whether you have the courage to do it. 

You’ve gathered the data. 
You’ve listened carefully. 
You’ve weighed the impact on people you care deeply about. 

And still, the decision in front of you feels heavy. Risky. Personal. 

My clients often tell me this is the loneliest place in leadership. You’re experienced enough to see the full complexity of the situation, but human enough to feel the cost of choosing one path over another.  

At one point in my leadership journey I knew I needed to let someone go, but I kept putting it off, hoping there was another way. To make things even harder, I really liked the person and appreciated what they had brought to the organization. Yet the performance issues were unresolved, and the accelerating needs of the organization demanded a solution. 

Many of my clients tell me they value harmony, collaboration, and care, strengths that make them an exceptional leader. But those same strengths can make decisive leadership feel fraught. 

You may worry: 

• Will this hurt someone unnecessarily? 
• Will I be seen as cold, harsh, or unkind? 
• What if I’m wrong? 
• What if this decision changes how people see me — or how I see myself? 
• Will I lose the trust of my team, making movement forward difficult? 

Courage Isn’t the Absence of Fear — It’s the Willingness to Lead Through It 

Usually, we know what we want to do, what is the right thing for the organization, but we are afraid of the consequences.  

Hard decisions ask you to trust: 

• Your lived experience 
• Your judgment, shaped over years of leadership 
• Your capacity to repair, respond, and recalibrate if needed 

Making the hard decision reinforces an inner truth: I can handle this. 
Not perfectly. Not without impact. But with integrity. 

That confidence doesn’t come from external validation. It comes from self-trust which is the most durable form of authority. 

Organizations don’t thrive because leaders avoid hard calls. They thrive because leaders are willing to make them thoughtfully, humanely, and with conviction. 

On the other side of the decision isn’t ease but there is alignment. There is relief. There is a quieter, steadier confidence that comes from knowing you honored your role, your values, and yourself. 

I was worried that the person I referred to above – I did lay her off – would dislike and resent me forever. Some months afterward, I ran into her at the grocery store, and she greeted me very warmly, seeming genuinely happy to see me. Things had moved forward well in her life. And there is a lesson in this experience: when the energy is moving toward a hard decision, just know that there is a highest and best path for all involved.  

If you are facing a hard decision: 

List each alternative. Then list the benefits and costs of each alternative. What does the list tell you? (I believe you already know what you want to do but this helps to bring clarity.) 

Close your eyes and imagine each alternative is a pair of pants. Write down what comes to you: what is the material?  The design? How does it feel to wear them? Are they tight, loose, just right? Can you see yourself wearing them and how would that feel? What did this exercise tell you? 

Once you have made the decision, take a few moments to breathe deeply, imagine the fear releasing from your body with every outbreath, and the courage entering your body with every inbreath. State that the highest and best path is emerging for all involved. Then take the action.