Grow as a Leader by Switching from Doing to Being

One of my clients had just landed her dream position and after we celebrated together, I asked her how she wanted to be in her new job. I was asking not about what she would be doing as it was clear she was confident how to approach her role and responsibilities. My question pointed to her “beingness” which is the inner state of consciousness, presence, or energy you bring to any moment.

Beingness is your way of showing up — your energy, mindset, emotional tone, and authenticity that influence others, often more powerfully than your actions or words.

As we discussed more deeply what that meant to her in her new position, she realized that she wasn’t sure how to navigate the relationship with her new boss who was under a lot of stress and anxious about change.

She determined that she wanted to BE more confident, optimistic, and proactive around her boss and to BE less anxious, fearful, and reactive. We talked about how to feel these states of being that she wanted to expand into while releasing the others and how to intend to show up that way in her day-to-day interactions. She found that this created a good foundational relational energy with her boss that enabled her to assist herself and her boss to navigate through the changes.

The reason focusing on beingness is so powerful as a leader is that it gives rise to doing in a way that is based on who you truly want to show up as, what you most value in this stage of your leadership journey.

You might think of beingness as the source of doing (the inner state that precedes it), the doing is the action, and the action leads to a result. When you spend some time and energy determining how you want to be, the doing is more deeply aligned with your leadership intention, and the result is fulfilling and more sustainable.

As a leader, who you are being shapes everything you do. Your inner state influences your organizational culture. Your emotional tone affects your team’s morale. Your self-care determines your sustainability and reduces reactivity.

Who Are You Becoming?

Here’s a simple but revealing reflection exercise:

Take a look at the words below and circle (or note) the five attributes you most want to become more of, and the five you’re ready to become less of.

I desire to become more:
Accepting | Ambitious | Attentive to my family | Attentive to my self-care | Caring | Compassionate | Competitive | Confident | Cooperative | Curious | Determined | Emotional | Fair | Flexible | Free | Motivated | Open to learning | Optimistic | Organized | Playful | Proactive | Relational | Relaxed | Respectful |Transparent | Willing to take risks

I desire to become less:
Isolated | Judgmental | Cautious | Pessimistic | Competitive | Reactive | Controlling | Rigid | Secretive | Self-absorbed | Fearful | Serious | Stressed | Impulsive | Stubborn | Influenced by others | Insecure | Zealous

After identifying your top five “more” attributes, ask yourself:

• What would it look like if I embodied these qualities more fully each day?
• How would my presence change in meetings, decisions, and relationships?

Then, choose one small action this week to practice living into your “more” list.

The path of leadership is not about perfection, it’s about alignment. It’s about bringing your inner and outer worlds into coherence so that your presence naturally inspires trust, clarity, and purpose.