How do Leaders Stay Calm in Anxious Times? 

In today’s complex organizational environment, including a turbulent economy, attacks on DEI and civil society, and the attendant effects of all of these things, even the most experienced leaders can find themselves overwhelmed by emotional turbulence. Whether it’s these larger forces and/or an unresolved workplace conflict or a change in roles, we can end up feeling reactive, anxious, and drained. Without practicing self-awareness and learning to productively manage our emotions, we might act in ways that chip away at the trust we have built with others. 

Some of my clients have noticed that when they are frustrated or stressed, these can spill over into interactions with staff or colleagues before they even realize what is happening. Strong emotions like fear, anger, anxiety, overwhelm come with racing thoughts and a body activated by stress hormones (the body’s response to negative emotions which it interprets as “I am not safe”). Emotions are just part of the human experience, but strong negative ones really do affect our well-being and the well-being of those around us so learning to release them and rebalance is a good skill to develop. 

Here’s a four-step approach to help you move from emotional reactivity to calm clarity — the place from which you choose how to show up instead of being reactive to what is going on inside you. When you notice that you were reactive, take a few moments to work this through. When you are in the middle of an interaction and you notice your reactivity, just pause and take a few deep breaths, and choose a better feeling response. 

1. Experience Self-Awareness

Start by recognizing all the emotions you’re experiencing in response to a situation or relationship at work. Is it frustration? Anxiety? Helplessness? Anger? Sadness? Offense? Embarrassment? 

We’re particularly tuning into the feelings that drain us — the ones that cause racing thoughts, tightness in the chest, or a flood of stress hormones. These are the emotions we don’t want to lead from. Naming them brings them into the light and begins the healing process. 

Write down every single emotion that you are feeling – there are usually several. Writing them down begins to dissipate their power. 

2. Tune intoYour Body

Take a few deep breaths to help settle your body - try doing three rounds of one breath in, hold seven counts, release eight counts. Our bodies hold our emotional experiences. Where are you feeling the tension? In your stomach? Shoulders? Jaw? Heart? 

As you identify the places where these emotions reside, gently place your attention there. Imagine sending light and warmth into those areas. Tell your body: “You’re safe. You can relax now.” If you like you can put your hand or hands on these places which also helps to release tension.

When we communicate safety to our nervous system, we begin to restore balance and clarity of thought and action. 

3. Connect with Compassion

Close your eyes, feel yourself tuning into the power of your heart,  and imagine stepping into a vast field — one filled with unconditional love and compassion. (Or this could be a river, a garden, a warm glowing light — whatever image helps you feel supported and expansive.)

Now bring the situation that is causing you stress, and everyone involved – especially you – into that space. Allow yourself to experience the situation from within this higher, more grounded place of love and compassion. What new insights or images arise? What softens in you toward yourself and others?  

This shift into presence helps you tap into the deeper truth: You are a part of a universal energy field and a profound font of wisdom greater than your loop of emotion or judgment that made you reactive.

4. Lead with New Intention

After taking this inner journey, reflect: What positive quality do I want to bring into this situation or relationship or into my leadership? 

Maybe it’s calm. Or Openness. Clarity. Courage. Integrity. Trust. Understanding.  Allow that quality to inform your next step — whether that’s having a difficult conversation, setting a new boundary, or simply carrying yourself differently in a meeting or an interaction. Eighty percent of what is being communicated is not verbal so your intentional shift will be felt by those around you.

This isn’t just emotional hygiene — it’s soulful leadership. And it’s what the world, and your workplace, needs now more than ever.